On My Honor, I Will Try

Scouting is pretty big in our area for both boys and girls, and though I didn't stick with it for very many years myself, I think Girl Scouts is a fantastic organization that has so much to offer. The local council had an open house type of day that we attended last year, and Caroline had enough fun that she decided she definitely wanted to give it a try.

The 2014 fall semester kicked off with plenty of activities as the girls chose the badges they wanted to work on, not to mention all of the fun activities and patches they would earn for those! I'm a real to-do list kind of person, someone who does best when I have one or more tangible goals that I'm working toward. I loved hearing about the steps the girls were taking toward earning badges, and then watching Caroline learn so much along the way. There was the visit to the fire station, Trunk or Treat at the local Kappa Delta sorority house, caroling at the local nursing home, and volunteering at the local animal shelter where I successfully fended off yet another round of, "when can we get a dog???"

Caroline's favorite thing may have been the archery event in the fall! I'd heard all about archery from her PE classes, and she enthusiastically signed up when Girl Scouts had a class. Man, was I impressed! That kid really knows how to handle a bow and arrow! Over the holidays, she also completed her cooking badge together with Grandmommy May who helped her prepare a two meals, mostly by herself.

As we transitioned into the new year, it was officially Girl Scout cookie time!! I remember going door to door myself, ringing doorbells with my sister in our neighborhood working to hit a certain level to earn either a badge, recognition, or some other type of reward. The cookie kickoff meeting for Caroline's troop had inspired her with the potential to earn cookie cash toward Girl Scout camp - specifically, horse camp. What a great goal, right? Until she explained she needed to sell over 500 boxes of cookies to achieve her goal. WHOA. I'm all for aiming high and giving yourself a stretch goal, but that sure seemed like a lot to me.

Man, did Caroline ever prove me to have underestimated her. She put a plan together, stayed focused on her goal, and worked so hard to sell those cookies! She got her sales pitch down pat, including the one that kept convincing me to go out with her on weekends and her little brother to join her on weekdays when she got home from school. Cold weather, warm weather, didn't matter; she was determined to achieve her goal. School snow day? Just a great opportunity to deliver the goods!

Once the individual sales were done, there was still the opportunity to sell more boxes by participating in the troop booth events. Rain? No problem! My kiddo was a super trooper, enthusiastically manning the booths, talking to customers, making change, and selling those cookies. In the end, Caroline slightly surpassed her goal and did earn that cookie cash toward summer camp. So proud of her!

The weather finally warmed up, we approached the end of the school year, and the troop began planning their first camping trip. Now we're talking! The outdoor stuff is right in my wheelhouse; this is where I could be the mom who happily volunteers! As it was the first time for the troop to go camping together, the plan was to ease them into it with a campsite that had a building fully equipped with electricity, bathrooms, even a kitchen. The goal was to have them sleeping in tents, but who knew how it would go. We arrived at a beautiful campsite not too far from home and began setting up the tents. The gear got unpacked from the cars, and the troop threw themselves into helping the adults set up the tents.

Kristin, our troop leader, was a Girl Scout all the way through high school, and she is awesome. She had spent hours in prep for the trip, and quickly had the campsite set up with a wash station; campfire supplies; and food prep stations. We set the girls to work looking for firewood to get the fire going, and off they tromped on their mission. The traditional foil bag meal was so much fun for the girls to put together, cooked on the fire they had helped build and maintain. I saw first hand the confidence that empowerment can build in little girls, as they learned and tried new things.

After s'mores, stories and jokes around the fire, it was time to get the girls ready for bed. Always easier said than done on a regular night at home, it was mass giggling and procrastinating until we finally got everyone into their sleeping bags and in the tents. I sometimes say that discretion is the better part of valor; into the tent was success. Whether they stopped talking and laughing and finally went to sleep was a bridge too far. The moms all went back inside, where we spent a mostly pleasant night.

Breakfast the next morning was a learning experience for me, too. Kristin has plenty of camping experience, and I was introduced to dutch oven cooking over a campfire! Between the fruit cobbler (hey, it was fruit) in the dutch oven and the eggs in the skillet, it opened my eyes to a whole new way to camp. A morning hike later, we were breaking down the tents and heading back home. The girls all had a fantastic time, and despite my avowal that my camping days were over when my Army days ended, so did I. Next time, I'm even ready to give the tent a chance!

With summer upon us, the troop meetings were on hiatus, but Caroline used her hard-earned cookie cash and began making plans to attend camp. After reading the brochure on all of the camp options, she changed her mind on attending horse camp - not enough actual riding of the horse - and opted instead for the camp themed Ship Wrecked! My kid? Opting into a castaway / survivor camp? To my shock, she was adamant that was the one she wanted to do, and despite my misgivings, far be it from me to talk her out of it. In June, we got her bags packed and headed off to Camp Cahinnio for a week of fun with other Girl Scouts.

Caroline was super excited, even after seeing the platform tents and the outdoor bathrooms! After helping get her bunk area set up, I gave her a big hug and headed home. Over the course of the week, it hit me that as good as it was for Caroline to learn to be away from home, it was equally important for me as a parent to begin learning how to let go. There was no email, no internet, no cell phone connection to Caroline that week. I didn't know at any given time what she was doing, whether she was having fun, how she was getting along with the other girls. It was harder than I expected, but how much harder will it be when she's 18 and leaving for college if I don't learn in baby steps along the way? By Friday when it was time to pick her up, I was both excited and anxious, hoping she'd had a ton of fun, made friends, and learned some cool new stuff along the way.

I needn't have worried; when we arrived, she was in the pool having a blast! When your child's first words are "I don't want to leave!" followed quickly by "Can I come again next year?", you have that parenting moment where you feel like you're winning. What a fantastic lesson Caroline learned about setting and achieving goals, and then what a blessing that the ultimate objective of attending camp turned out to be even more fun than she had imagined.

As we start a new year, our troop has a new look, combining with a couple of other troops at the school. We have a new co-leader who has been doing this for several years, and there is now a group of older girls that Caroline and her troopmates will be able to look up to. We had our kickoff picnic a couple of weeks ago, and our first troop meeting this past Sunday. Caroline's Junior vest is looking sharp with all of the badges and patches she earned in her first year!

I hope to get more involved this year; I've told Kristin before, while I don't want to lead the troop, I am happy to do whatever it takes to support her so that she wants to continue leading! I plan to help the girls earn their First Aid badge, and we're already working on our first fall camping trip. I think this year will be the girls' opportunity to step up a little bit more and make more decisions on what they want to do vs. the adults telling them what they'll work on.

While Girl Scouts is very much about building skills and self-confidence, it has also helped me see that my daughter is capable of so much when given the chance to try. It's helped me raise my expectations where appropriate as well as trust her to try things on her own. It's exciting to see her grow as an individual and, as importantly, as a part of a group. Here's to another year of Caroline discovering what she's capable of when she works together with her friends, sets goals, develops a plan, and achieves extraordinary things!

Caroline's Got (age-appropriate) Talent

This evening was the annual Holcomb Elementary 3rd and 4th grade talent show, and my big 3rd grader made her debut! Thanks to long-distance piano lessons with Grandmommy May, Caroline was able to perform one of the pieces she's been working on this year at both the afternoon and evening performances.

I thought back to my own elementary school days and a faint memory of a talent show; if I remember correctly, I performed a lip sync instead of playing the piano, to (I'm sure) my mother's eternal frustration and disappointment. Not only did I demand to be allowed to lip sync, but I chose a song by *gasp* Madonna, and of all songs, I chose *what-was-I-thinking* "Like A Virgin." In fact, my 4th grade teacher, Ms. McCray (who I always thought was super cool because she was young and fun to my 10 year old eyes) let me borrow one of her prom dresses so that I was in full costume.

As an aside, I'm not sure whether color commentary is more appropriate for me or for Ms. McCray on my being able to wear her prom dress at the age of 10.

Regardless, as I watched the show tonight that included a couple of gyrating, booty-shaking dance routines to current popular music that were suspect in their appropriateness for 3rd and 4th graders, I finally understood how mortified my own mom must have been all those years ago. Lip syncing Madonna, as a 4th grader? Could it get any more inappropriate? Not to mention, it was common knowledge that my mom was a piano teacher. Her own daughter didn't have a piano piece to play at the talent show?

I'm sure it wasn't for lack of something to play; it was the earliest stages of the rebellion of a daughter who insisted on being her own person; choosing her own path; defining her own self in large part by highlighting how she was different. You can't possibly know the hassle and frustration and occasional disappointment of being a mother to a headstrong daughter until you have your own, and I'm just starting to see that side of motherhood.

So Mom, I want you to know, tonight was kind of a do-over for you. Caroline was so courageous, getting up in front of all of her peers today and then again in front of their families tonight. She had poise and determination, and she played beautifully. Not once did she fight me on the suggestion to play the piano for the talent show. I was so proud of her tonight, and I know you would have been too.

Second time was the charm.

Houston in August: my favorite place to be

Last week was the annual summer pilgrimage home to Houston, and I cracked up at this text exchange with a friend of mine back in Arkansas:

Friend: Hey Amanda! Are you swimming this week? I can go on Friday.
Me: Hey Friend!! I'm in Houston on vacation, back tomorrow night. Maybe Friday lunch?
Friend: Amanda, you may be the only person ever who had visited / could visit Houston in August and call it a vacation.

Yep. Heat, humidity, mosquitos the size of small birds - paradise, I tell you.

The kids look forward to the trip home all summer long, with the promise of seeing Grandmommy and Granddaddy a source of sheer excitement. Throw in new cousin Claire and the mandatory trip to Splashtown, it's no wonder they were counting down the days!!

I love the trip home too, for the more obvious, grown up reasons. I get to see my parents; my kids get to spend time with their grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins; I get to see old friends who still live in the area; I get to eat Mexican food until I have to be rolled out the door of the restaurant. More than anything else, though, I love the trip home because it's HOME. It's Texas. And like every other Texan you've ever met, there is no place on Earth I'd rather be.

I can't really explain what that feeling is. I honestly think you just kind of have to be a Texan to have that feeling, that deep down, in your gut, visceral love. It isn't really the geography; the climate; the friendly people; the millions of things to do. It's... well, it's Texas. And if you don't get it, I can't really explain it.

So for the six days we were there, I soaked up as much of that as I could get. We went and did, and we sat and stayed. And we loved every. single. minute.

We had a ton of fun hanging out with my high school friends:

We went to church with my mom on Sunday and got to hear her play a special piece for the offertory:

We hung out at my sister's new home, grilled an amazing steak dinner, and celebrated the three August birthdays in our family:

We spent six hours at Splashtown in the Texas sun, loving every minute of it, riding almost every ride in the park:

And we hung out in the neighborhood, playing in the backyard and swimming at a neighbor's house:

We all would've loved to have stayed much longer, but I figure no matter how long we stay, it's always hard to leave. So we're back home now, enjoying the last few days before school starts. We have the memories, and we have the pictures. Thanks to my mom, those pictures include the latest family photo.

Gig 'em!

Friday Feature: music to my ears

I've played the piano pretty much forever. Literally, as long as I can remember, there has been piano music in my life. Keys under my fingers, piano in my house, music in the air. My mom is a piano teacher, so not only did I get the benefit of starting piano lessons at the age of 3, her students filled the air with music (and at times, that's a generous description of what they filled the air with) from 3:30 until sometimes as late as 9:30 at night.

When I moved away to college, of course, a piano was much harder to come by, not to mention the time with which to practice. There was the rare occasion when I would find time to play one of the pianos hidden away in a small room in the West Point library, and there was the best-cocktail-party-story-ever moment when I got to play Heart & Soul with Billy Joel at Eisenhower Hall, but from my college years through my early adulthood, there was a significant hiatus from playing the piano, broken up only when I went home to visit.

I always figured my kids would play the piano, just like me, so when Caroline turned five, my dad bought us a really nice keyboard. Much bigger than a kids' keyboard - perfectly suited to teach little hands the basics. We are so fortunate that with today's technology, my kids get to take piano lessons from my mom, even though we live 500+ miles away. This summer, every Wednesday evening has been piano lesson night, and it's been great. I've seen them both progress, and they don't even complain about practicing.

So when my dad called me a few weeks ago to tell me that he wanted to buy us a digital piano - a full sized, true piano touch, pedals and everything - I was stunned. I'm usually terrible at accepting gifts like this - it's always a bit of an awkward feeling, being a grownup, but having Daddy still buy me things. You know what, though? I think it makes him happy, especially something like this that's for his grandkids and his daughter.

So for once in my life, I didn't protest. I just say, "Thank you, Dad. That would be awesome." And here we are, about four weeks later, and the piano has arrived. It will take some getting used to, especially how much more finger strength it will take to press the keys, but the excitement is the key.

So this Friday, the feature doesn't have anything to do with journaling, artwork, spelling, or math. It has everything to do with music, creativity, and love. Here are a few clips of Caroline, John, and even Mama playing our new amazing piano.

(If you can't see the videos, please click the title in your email and it will take you to the blog page!)

Piano lessons, brought to you by Steve Jobs

Fun fact about Amanda: when I was a cadet at West Point, I got to play a duet on the piano with Billy Joel. It might have been just Heart & Soul, but years of piano lessons made that possible. And I received those years of piano lessons courtesy of my mom, who has now been teaching piano for over 40 years.

Since my brother moved back to Texas, he's close enough that my mom sees my niece almost every weekend. With that convenience, she began teaching my niece, keeping the family tradition of everyone-must-play alive. Unfortunately, the 9 hour drive from Spring to Fayetteville kept us from taking advantage of the same set up, and our budget (and available parenting energy, frankly) kept us from getting John and Caroline signed up for lessons here.

Enter Steve Jobs. Or, more accurately, the iPad.

I am so fortunate that my job provides one to me, and just recently, my dad gave one to my mom. It took a couple of false starts, but we have mastered the genius app FaceTime, and we now have weekly piano lessons.

How does that work, you ask?

Exactly like you would think. It's truly the next best thing to being there in person.

I am grateful to all of the bright minds at Apple. My kids don't see nearly enough of their grandparents, and selfishly, I don't see nearly enough of my parents. I can remember as a kid thinking, "how cool would a TV phone be?!" while watching Knight Rider and Buck Rogers. That was the stuff of a far off future when we all drove spaceships and kept our hover packs in the closet next to our moon boots.

I don't have that spaceship, and moon boots are sadly absent from my house. But I do have kids that are starting to learn how to play the piano, learning from a teacher who lives over 500 miles away. Can't say I imagined that in my wildest dreams.