If you're going to be in, be all in

Since my return to running, I've enjoyed the fact that I'm running. No pressure, no specific time goals, just wanted to get back and run another marathon. My welcome back race done, I've been looking forward to a reunion race with fellow female West Point classmates in April, but without a time goal in mind.

Until this morning.

This week's mileage was one of the easy weeks; only 14 miles for my Saturday run, with 18 last week and my first of two 20 milers in front of me next week. It's been a pretty good week for my training - I've been on a reasonably steady plan of 1-2 days of speed work, 2-3 days of mid-mileage during the week, and focusing on learning to negative split my long runs on the weekends.

With a company holiday last Monday, I skipped the interval work and ran a couple of miles with Justin for the first time in... well, for the first time in forever. I can't even remember the last time he and I laced up together. It was short, but it was sunny, and we kept a nice pace for the run:

Tuesday I got on the trainer - I'm very much looking forward to warmer weather so that I can get back on my bike and back in the pool. For now, though, I set my bike up inside, had the added bonus this week of being able to watch some Olympic Nordic Combined during my ride, and gave my sore hamstring a break.

Wednesday was the best run I've had in a while - all four of us, my stalwart friends who've trained with me every step of the way since I returned to running - had an excellent run. My plan for the day was to run for time, not for distance. Those are sometimes my favorite runs because I feel less pressure for pace, and am able to just get into the flow of however I feel that day. Turns out, we all felt great on Wednesday:

Ten miles, steady pace, felt like I could run another 10 at the end.

Thursday was my weekly tempo run with my friend Andy. He's a crazy good runner - he was instrumental in my PR / BQ run at Houston last year, doing regular interval and speed work with me. My tempo runs tend to be his recovery pace, which works great for me - I huff and puff, he carries the conversation by himself. It was a pretty windy morning; we started out downhill with the wind at our backs. I'm officially declaring myself an expert at running downhill with a tail wind. Even when we turned around, though, I kept the tempo pace. First time I've done that this year - another great run this week, and a solid morale boost, too.

A rest day on Friday, then this morning's 14 miler. Another beautiful morning - tights and two shirts, no jacket, no mittens. I could breathe without my tongue freezing (yep, that's happened a few times this winter) and I didn't have to cover my cheeks in Aquaphor. My friends by my side, my new kicks on my feet, and I felt... great. Free. Strong.

Sometimes the best part of a run is the feeling when it's over, but this morning, I felt great the whole time. There were a couple of rest stops, but I don't think I would've needed them if it was race day. We talked here and there along the way, especially about the upcoming Garmin Marathon we've been kicking around as a race to run together. Andy is going to pace his wife, Shauna, my running twin and perfect running partner - her BQ time is 3:55, and I know she can do it.

We talked about the plan; I felt great; the sun shone down on us; I thought about my own BQ effort that fell just a little bit short. I thought about the injury I'd sustained and my lack of focus on anything other than getting back into the game. And I thought about just how hard it is to train to run a race that fast. A year older, my BQ time is now 3:45, and I've dismissed it as too difficult to achieve with the shape I'm in at the moment.

And then it hit me - that's an excuse. I'm afraid of trying and failing. The first time I set a BQ in my sights, I knew that it might not happen the first time. The second time. The third, fourth, fifth, or fiftieth time. I thought it might be a decades-long odyssey, a shiny object always out of my reach. When I achieved it on my first effort, it changed everything. It then became an expectation of myself, and running became more about the pace and the time instead of the joy of putting one foot in front of the other.

When it became about the pace and the time, I realized this morning, that's when I began making excuses for myself for not trying to BQ again. I know exactly how hard it is to train for that kind of race, and I knew I hadn't trained that hard. So I said things like "I'm just happy to be running" and "my goal is to just finish the race." Excuses; half truths.

When I'm in, I'm all in.

This is my official declaration - I'm going to try for another BQ time in my races this spring. I have Raleigh on April 13th, and most likely, Garmin on April 26th. I'm going to buckle down, do my speedwork, watch what I eat, lose a few pounds, drink more water, and get more sleep. I'm going to do the hard things that have to be done to put myself in a position to train for a 3:45. I may not achieve it in April, but that's okay. Because if I don't try, I've already missed out.

Life is too short for excuses, and it's too short to try next time. This is my time, and I'm all in to go all out.

Winter running, or, How Not to Freeze Your Digits Off

It's definitely been a mixed bag with my running this year.

I started out the year with a mileage goal of 1,200 but with a broken ankle, three months off, then another month of rehab, I gave myself permission to put that goal aside and to focus on just getting back to running. I also started the year with a marathon PR and BQ time, only to be crushed in September when I still didn't get in for Boston 2014. I added three more states to my quest to be a 50 Stater, but didn't run a single fall marathon, so Missouri and Oklahoma remain on the undone list.

Through the ups and downs, the elation and frustration, I've learned a lot. Running has been my teacher, my therapist, my upperclassman haze, my fan and my foe this year. It has been my constant when life whirs by at a dizzying and accelerating pace. 

So now that I'm on vacation for the rest of the year, I can kick back, relax, enjoy the holidays and spend quality time with friends and family. Which, obviously, means getting up at 4:45 on my first day off to go run. In the wicked cold. 

Eeeerrrggghhhhhh... According to the local station, the wind chill was actually six degrees. Six. So cold the word only gets three letters and then it freezes. So cold we had our own lake effect fog running across the dam at Lake Fayetteville. So cold we ran faster than we thought we could because we apparently were trying to get done just a little bit faster. Pretty solid this morning with my buddy Jeff:

So how does one go about running in the cold weather?

I'm not going to lie and say it's all in your head. People who say that... well, I think someone needs to examine their head. Because when it's cold, it is COLD. You psyche yourself up and go get it done, but there ain't no getting around the truth of the temperature. I've gotten better at knowing how to dress for runs below 30 degrees - this morning it was a base layer long sleeve Under Armour shirt, my Reebok running tights, Asics running jacket, Sugoi running pants, and wool socks. 

The key piece to successfully running in the cold, though, is the accessories.

#1: protect the digits. Through many, many opportunities for trial and error, I have learned that gloves are not really my friend. I don't know if I have unusually bad circulation or just an usually low tolerance for the cold, but my Asics mittens are the bees knees. On a morning like this, slip a couple of hand warmers in, and boom - no numb fingertips. Santa is my main man, because I get those bad boys in my stocking every year. 

#2: cover the whole head. I have a fleece ear wrap that I love - dual sided, Go Army, Beat Navy. I challenge you to top that. But we all know you lose the most body heat off the top of your head, and when the wind chill matches your youngest child's age, you gotta go skull cap or beanie. I recently commandeered this piece of vintage headwear from Justin's collection:

USMA, rah rah! It looks good when covered with icicles formed from your sweat. You're welcome for that visual. 

#3: if it's exposed, grease it up. Aquaphor is a miracle product. I use it for EVERYTHING, including covering my cheeks, chin, nose, and lips. It doesn't keep me from getting cold, but it does keep me from getting chapped and windburned. And to that effect, I think it does help prevent numbness, at least, because it seems to mitigate the effect of the wind. Which was kickin' on parts of the run today, thankyouverymuch. 

Throw a head lamp in for good measure since we start at 5:15, long before the sun is up, and you're ready to go. Be careful, walk the slick spots on the bridges, keep an eye out for black ice, and then there's only one thing left to do.  

Run. 

December goal: 31 days of running

I follow several running pages on Facebook and more than one blog that focuses on my obsession, and throughout the year I always see calls to "join in!" for a month of running every day. I've always managed to ignore those, focusing on my current training plan or just not feeling the need to participate.

Maybe because I missed three months of running this summer, or maybe because I'm going to miss my annual mileage goal, or maybe just because I want a new goal to work toward, I decided to give it a whirl this month. 

So for December, I'm going to try and run every day. Every. Single. Day. No minimum mileage required, just put my shoes on and and get out there. Shouldn't be too hard, honestly - I'm hitting mileage ramp up time for my January marathon, so there aren't too many rest days on my schedule, anyway. 

And with this weather coming, I probably need extra motivation to get this weekend's 20 miler in the books:

Man oh man, snow in December?? And I thought the temps in the mid-20s were bad. It's been unseasonably cold already this year; looks like we're in for more of that in the week ahead. 

I've got my training plan; I've got my stalwart running partners and friends; and now I have a monthly goal. Here's to being harder than woodpecker lips and going all in this month. As my friend Greg says: Run. 

Big numbers

At the beginning of 2012, I had a goal of running 100 miles each month for a total of 1,200 miles for the year. With 2012 in the rear view mirror, I figured it was time to add it up and take stock.

Bad news: I didn't run 100 miles each month.

Good news: I crushed my goal.

Kind of hard for me to believe, but I ended the year with a total of just over 1,343 miles. I had a few spring months where I didn't get that many miles in; must've been recovering from two marathons in two weeks, or looking for a triathlon to cross train for. But two big months to close out the year with 170 in November and 175 in December got me across the finish line.

It's funny - while pretty much every non-runner I know may think I'm a little nuts (or at least odd), they at least think of me as a runner. Or maybe that's Runner, capital R, Runner. But for me, it's been one of those goals to attain.

Oh, Amanda? Yeah, she'll be a runner someday, if she just sticks with it.

But 2012 - that was the year I stuck with it. Maybe looking back at 2013, I'll be able to claim Marathoner, too.